About Jo
Hi, I’m Jo. Let’s make room for you.
I’m a Betrayal Recovery Coach, Educator & Author supporting betrayed partners worldwide. If infidelity, sexual betrayal or secret pornography use has left you questioning your relationship and your own judgement, we can begin with the questions you are carrying today.
You may have spent a long time trying to understand someone else’s behaviour. Our work makes space for you: what you know, what you need, the boundaries that matter and the choices available to you.
Understand what happened. Rebuild trust in yourself. Decide what comes next.
We meet online in English through Google Meet. You do not need to have decided whether to stay or leave before we speak.
Your choices deserve room to breathe
- You can ask difficult questions without having to defend why they matter to you.
- You are not responsible for another person’s betrayal. You still have a right to information, boundaries, support and time to think.
- You set the direction. I will not make staying, leaving, forgiving or reconciling the measure of your progress.
Why “Back to Me” matters
- I know what it is like to second-guess yourself and lose sight of your own needs. That experience helped shape the name Back to Me Healing.
- Coming back to yourself does not mean becoming the person you were before. It can mean getting clearer about what matters to you now.
- We make that idea practical: naming a need, preparing for a difficult conversation, putting a boundary into words or choosing a manageable next step.
My experience shapes the care I bring, but I won’t assume I know your story. I’m here to listen, ask honest questions and help you work through your options. The decisions remain yours.
The person behind the work
- I’m a mother of four boys. Family life keeps me close to the everyday work of listening, making room for different needs and putting values into practice.
- My name is Jolandi-Jordaan Kuhn, but you can call me Jo. I write non-fiction under my own name and novels under my pen name, Johanna Lemoine. You’ll also see Johanna Lemoine as the byline on this website’s educational articles. Both names refer to me. My upcoming novel, The Prince Who Turned Into a Frog, explores finding your voice and coming back to yourself through fiction. My non-fiction book, Is My Partner Gay?, offers education and reflection around sexuality, secrecy and relationship choices.
- Honesty, respect and responsibility matter to me, and so does what those values look like in ordinary actions.
Back to Me Healing brings that same attention to your life beyond the relationship: your identity, your values and the future you want to consider.
Understand the behaviour. Keep yourself in view.
What counts as accountability? How do you respond to secrecy? What does a boundary actually sound like? Education can help you ask clearer questions without making your whole life about understanding your partner.
In my educational content, I discuss infidelity, pornography, problematic pornography use (PPU), compulsive sexual behaviour disorder (CSBD), trust and relationship decisions. I distinguish research findings from opinion and personal experience, including where evidence is limited.
You can begin with the articles, How Is Betrayal Affecting You? or Can I Trust Myself Again? The quizzes offer reflection and practical exercises; they do not diagnose or score your distress.
You do not need to understand every part of someone else’s behaviour before your own needs deserve attention.
What we can work on together
We start with the question that matters most to you. You can bring uncertainty, mixed feelings or an unfinished story. Together, we agree a focus that is useful to you now.
- Making sense of what you know and identifying the questions that remain unanswered.
- Recognising your needs and rebuilding confidence in your own judgement.
- Preparing boundaries and conversations you can follow through on.
- Considering accountability, relationship repair, separation or an undecided next step.
- Turning reflection into manageable actions between sessions.
- My scope: coaching and education, rather than couples counselling or psychotherapy. I do not diagnose or treat CSBD, addiction, physical symptoms or mental health conditions.
- Where your needs fall outside coaching, we can discuss appropriate medical, mental health or other professional support. Coaching cannot establish hidden facts or assess a partner who is not present.
A focused place to begin: the Betrayal Clarity Session.
A private 90-minute Google Meet conversation, with brief pre-session questions and a concise written summary of agreed next steps.
US$150 reference · Charged R2,700. Payment is in South African rand; your bank determines the final converted amount and may apply fees.
For continued support, Back to Me After Betrayal offers six individual coaching sessions over 12 weeks. You can begin with a Clarity Session without committing to ongoing coaching.
My main coaching focus is the betrayed partner. I also offer a separate Accountability & Relationship Repair service for the person who broke trust. That work centres on responsibility and respecting the betrayed partner’s choices; it does not promise reconciliation or forgiveness.
Not sure where to begin? Request a free 20-minute Discovery Call to ask about my approach and discuss whether coaching fits what you need.
